Beneath It All (Beneath #1) Page 4
“Oh. No. You. Don’t! You’re not going to sit there, acting all perfect and angelic after that performance. Get your clothes off . . . NOW . . . or I’ll do it for you!” he said as he turned the shower on.
Hmm . . . I’ll take option number two, please!
He walked over to me with a smug look, “Okay, we’ll do this my way, you little tease.” I gasped as he lifted me and carried me into the shower.
“Noah. What are you doing? I still have clothes on.” I giggled in mock annoyance.
“Don’t worry, I’ll fix that.” He ripped my panties off as soon as he set me down and then proceeded to tear open the dress shirt I had put on, sending the pearly buttons flying all over the tile. His eyes turned heavy when he saw the bruising on my breast where the biopsy had been done not even twenty-four hours ago. He carefully rubbed his hand on the underside of it. “Does it hurt when I touch it?”
Shaking my head no, I replied, “It’s sore and I can feel a subtle burning sensation, but the warmth of your hand is comforting. I need you to touch me. I need to feel you. Just be gentle.” He leaned down and placed a tender kiss on my breast just above the biopsy site. I flinched in surprise and could see the fear in his eyes when he looked up at me.
“It’s okay.” I leaned forward and placed my lips on his, needing that connection. Needing to feel him and needing him to feel me. Our kiss grew more passionate but lacked the aggressiveness it usually held. He stepped back briefly, squirted shampoo in his hand and began to massage my scalp with his strong fingers. It felt so good to be pampered by my husband.
He rinsed my hair and applied conditioner before grabbing my loofah. After liberally pouring coconut body wash on it, he began to wash my body but dropped the loofah and continued washing my body with his hands. Careful not to rub too hard on my left breast, he then grabbed my right breast and started to blow on my nipple. I wanted more.
I slid my hand down his chest, feeling how hard his body was and continued the journey south to my destination. He was more than ready for me. I tightened my grasp around his hard shaft and felt him get harder with my touch. “Fuck, Victoria. Just your touch makes me harder than stone.” His kiss was intense and full of need as he devoured my mouth.
When his hand found my folds and made direct contact with my clit, I breathed in sharply. He gently rubbed circles with his thumb as his fingers found my opening to test if I was ready. “Damn, you feel so good. I love how your body responds to my touch.”
He shifted our position and backed up so he could sit down on the built in tile bench along the wall. I stepped toward him and climbed on top, straddling his lap with my knees resting on either side of his hips. Using my hand to position him, I slowly lowered myself onto his length and just when I thought I had slid all the way down, he leaned back against the wall tilting his hips up. That small shift pushed him in even further. We sat like that for a moment and just stared at one another.
I started to rock my hips back and forth feeling his length rubbing against the perfect spot. He grabbed my hips and started guiding me up and down slowly over him. My orgasm was building with each thrust and pull. “Victoria, I’m so close. I don’t think I can hold out much longer. I want you with me. I need to feel you pulsing around my cock. Are you almost there?” he growled. I could tell it was taking all of his strength to hold out.
“Yes, I’m with you, Noah. I need it hard.” I picked up the pace and slammed myself down on him with such force I could feel the sweet pain of him as he plunged deep inside. I was gone.
“Oh. My. God. Noah.” I grabbed hold of his hair and our eyes met as he slammed up in me and found his release. “Oh fuck, Victoria!” he hissed between his teeth as I felt him twitch inside of me.
We didn’t move for several minutes. “I love you,” Noah said as he placed one final kiss on my lips.
“I love you too,” I whispered.
We finished washing, and Noah had my towel ready for me when I stepped out. He wrapped me up in it like I was a kid and placed a sweet kiss on my nose before walking out of the bathroom. “I’m going to go book our tickets.” It didn’t go unnoticed that his towel was slipping down as he walked away and he knew it . . . the bastard!
I finished getting ready and stepped back into our bedroom. A suitcase was open on the bed with Noah’s stuff already packed. I quickly pulled a few things out of the closet and my dresser and placed them in the bag.
I slipped into a pair of jeans, my favorite sweater, and boots, and went in search of Noah, who was in his study, focused intently on his laptop. I think he felt my presence, because he quickly finished what he was doing and looked up at me. “Ready to go?” he asked with a smile as I rounded his desk. He shut his laptop and stood to catch me in his arms.
“You bet. I’m ready to go on this little adventure with you!”
*
The flight to Chicago was short. Noah managed to book a last minute reservation at the Drake Hotel, and it was perfect. I stood in front of a large picture window overlooking Lake Michigan from our Lake View King Suite.
The natural light from several windows filled the room, giving it a warm glow. Next to the king-sized bed, there was a sitting area with a sofa and two wing-back chairs, as well as a dining area overlooking the lake. “Maybe we should just order room service tonight? This room is incredible.”
Noah walked up behind me and pulled me into his arms. “If that’s what you want, then that’s what we’ll do. Plus, it will give us more time to explore if we don’t have to come back and get ready to go out for a nice dinner.”
He shifted to look at his watch. “Speaking of exploring, the clock is ticking, and we have a lot to accomplish during our short stay. The Skydeck is waiting, and we have fast passes that allow us to skip ahead of the line.”
“You can do that?”
“You’d be amazed at what you can accomplish with a little extra cash and some research online while your wife is in the shower.”
He backed away and smacked me on the ass. “Let’s go—even with the fast pass, it will take us a few hours to get through the chaos. Luckily, it’s Wednesday and the midweek, midafternoon time frame is probably one of the better options. Now, let’s get a move on.”
We arrived at Willis Tower and Noah was right: the line was out the door. The plan was to hit Millennium Park first thing in the morning before heading over to the Navy Pier, so we weren’t in a big rush. The line for the first set of elevators took a little while, and they surprisingly took us down to the lowest level of the building instead of up.
Once we got off, our fast pass kicked into full effect, and we were able to make our way through security rather quickly before moving to the head of the line for the Chicago history video. We had the option to head straight for the bank of elevators that would take us directly up to the Skydeck, but we chose to watch the video and learned a lot about the city’s history. It was a city that came back from ashes . . . literally.
The final line for the elevator ride to the one hundred and third floor moved fairly quickly, and the excitement of what we were about to do had my heart racing. We boarded the elevator for a short sixty-second ride up, and when the elevator stopped, we were welcomed by the most amazing view of the world below us.
It was a clear day, and you could see the hustle and bustle of the city below, everyone going about their day like any other day. Tour boats on the river, airplanes taking off, and the beauty of the skyline at every turn. But this wasn’t just an ordinary day for me. I grabbed Noah’s arm and dragged him around the corner, bringing us closer to where the Ledge was waiting. We looked out over Lake Michigan and could see parts of the Navy Pier and some large boats.
Making our way around another corner, we could easily see the John Hancock Building and several other Chicago landmarks. As we made our way down the long hall, the lines for the Ledge started coming into view.
Simply put, the Ledge is a glass box that extends about four feet out from the top floor of the W
illis Tower. Once you step out into the box, you’re officially standing one hundred and three stories above downtown Chicago overlooking the Chicago River. I bet it would be fun to see the river on St. Patrick’s Day when they turn it green, I thought.
Noah and I stood in line and slowly inched our way closer. My nerves were ratcheting up with each step. I knew I wanted to do this to overcome my fear, and Noah was there to support me. I could do this!
I was distracted by a group of tourists from the UK that were having fun and laughing in the box next to the one we were in line for. I love the sound of a British accent, and I was so focused on them that I didn’t realize that we were standing at the entrance to the room we had been in line for. It was our turn. My heart rate soared.
Noah stepped out first and turned back toward me with his hand held out, encouraging me to join him. With a deep breath, I took his hand and focused on his face as I took one step . . . then another . . . and another. The trepidation I felt melted away as I took in the beauty around me, and the chill of the room awakened me to the moment. This would be a moment I would never forget.
My nerves disappeared as I sat down. That’s right. I sat down and made myself comfortable. I grabbed my phone and asked the woman next in line to snap our picture. She was more than happy to, and Noah sat down next to me after he handed it to her. He pulled me close to his side with his arms wrapped tightly around me.
The woman snapped a few pictures of us, including one with Noah kissing my check and me grinning ear to ear. She handed me my phone back as soon as I stood up. It was then that I took my first look down, and my heart plummeted. But I realized if I focused on my feet, I was fine, and I quickly took a picture of my feet with nothing but the street, 1,353 feet below, as the backdrop.
I looked up at Noah, who was beaming at me. “You’re stronger than you think,” he said before placing a kiss on my lips in front of everyone. It earned us a few whistles and cheers before we stepped back into the building.
“That was incredible!” I squealed like a high school girl after we made our way out of the crowd. You couldn’t wipe the smile off of my face. I had conquered my fear of heights, and it was an amazing rush. My adrenaline continued to pump through me as we stopped to look back out over Chicago.
“You were amazing out there. I’m so proud of you, Victoria.”
“Thank you.” I turned toward him. “I couldn’t have done that without you. You knew how afraid I was, and yet you got me to follow you out there just by offering your hand to me. I knew you would catch me, and the trust I saw in your eyes was all I needed.”
My emotions began to take over, and I started to tear up. “I know that whatever life throws at us, you will be there guiding me, holding me, catching me when I fall.” My voice was soft and the lump in my throat grew bigger.
Noah’s thumb wiped the lone tear that started to fall down my cheek. “Victoria, you’re the strongest woman I know, and you will conquer anything that comes your way. Today was a way for you to see that. To see that you’re strong and will be able to overcome any obstacles thrown at you.” He smiled as he tugged my hand and led us back to the bay of elevators to bring us back down to the ground.
*
“The Magnificent Mile is calling. We have a few hours before the stores close. Let’s do some window shopping,” I pleaded with him as we exited the building.
“Oh, really? The Mile is calling?”
“Yes, H&M, Michael Kors, and Burberry are all putting out signals for me to visit,” I stated emphatically. “Plus, I want to see the Historic Chicago Water Tower, and it’s all on our way back to the Drake. It’s a nice evening for a walk. The bitter cold of winter is coming, and we’ll be locked in our house like prisoners soon.”
“We need to make a quick detour to Garrett Popcorn first.” His mobile started to ring, and he looked down at the screen. “I need to grab this quick.” He winked as he stepped away from me to accept the call. Seeing he needed privacy, I moved to stand by the curb and waited for the light signal to turn. He was back at my side as the light changed, and we made our way arm-in-arm the few blocks down to Garretts.
We stumbled into our hotel suite a few hours later, our arms loaded with bags. Retail therapy had never felt so good, and Noah even managed to hit a few stores for himself.
After ordering room service, we changed out of our clothes and into something more comfortable since we weren’t planning to leave the room again until morning. Noah had picked up a bottle of wine on our way back to the hotel, and I poured myself a glass. I found the sound system and plugged in my iPod. After scrolling through my playlists, I selected “Lying in the Hands of God” by Dave Matthews Band and curled up on the sofa.
I heard the bathroom door open, followed by the sound of Noah’s feet as he made way into the room. He made a brief stop to pour himself a glass of wine before joining me on the sofa. He pulled my legs over onto his lap while he raised his glass for a toast. “Here’s to an amazing day with an amazing woman. Cheers.” We both took a sip of our wine when my phone rang.
I didn’t even bother to look at the caller ID. “Hello,” I answered cheerfully.
“Victoria? This is Dr. Freeman.” Pause. “I’m sorry to call so late, but your results came in a short time ago and—”
I cut her off. “Wait, what? I was told it would take a few days before we got them back. I don’t understand.”
“Are you alone right now?”
“No, my husband Noah and I are actually in Chicago. We decided to get away for a few days to keep me occupied until the results came in. What’s going on?”
“I’m sorry to tell you this, but your biopsy test showed that the lump you found is malignant.” She hesitated for a brief moment. “Victoria, you have breast cancer.”
Chapter Four
I AM COURAGEOUS
Victoria, you have breast cancer.
My world stopped.
I went numb and could barely comprehend what she said next. “I’ve made an appointment for you Friday morning to meet with a general surgeon. His name is Dr. William Lauren. I went to medical school with him, and I’ve the utmost confidence in his abilities. I’ll e-mail you his contact information in case you need to reschedule the appointment. I have also taken the liberty of scheduling an appointment with a plastic surgeon that same afternoon. Dr. Lauren recommended him when we discussed your case. His name is Dr. Blake Forrester and he’s new to the practice but has an impeccable record.”
I sat in stunned silence as she continued talking. “I know you’re in shock right now, and I hope you don’t mind that I took the liberty of setting up these appointments for you. I wanted to provide some guidance for you and make this as easy as possible. Do you have any questions for me right now?”
What? Questions? About what?
“No, not that I can think of,” I replied with no emotion or feeling. I was numb.
“Okay. Please know that you can call me anytime if you have questions or concerns. I’m so sorry to be the one to share this news with you, but the fact that we caught it early is on your side. Try to get some sleep, and we’ll be in touch. Good night, Victoria.”
“Good night.” End.
I sat frozen, wondering what in the hell just happened. Was this even real? What does this mean? Am I going to die? Noah took the phone out of my hand and placed it down on the table. He scooped me up on his lap and softly caressed my hair, trying to comfort me. I didn’t need to say a word. He knew.
November 9 was the day I heard those words. It was the day my life came to a screeching halt, but it was also the day it was slammed into fast forward . . . was that even possible? I’ve been told fighting breast cancer is a marathon, not a race. Funny, I don’t remember signing up for either!
As the realization of my diagnosis sunk in later that evening, my emotions took me on a roller coaster ride. Anger, sadness, and vulnerability took over and a half hour later were replaced with determination and resolve; I was going to do a
nything I could to kick cancer’s ass and opened my laptop to do some research.
I walked over to the sofa and sat next to Noah, who was reading. “I’ve been doing some research, and I’m opting for a bilateral mastectomy,” I declared.
He quickly snapped his head up and looked at me. “Don’t you think that’s a bit drastic?”
“No, I don’t. I’m thirty-two, and let’s be honest—what are the chances that we will ever be able to have children after I’m done with chemo? We have at least a year of surgeries, chemotherapy, and possible radiation ahead, and my body will need time to heal.” I took a deep breath. “Plus, I don’t want to wake up every day worried about finding a lump in my right breast. The what if would drive me insane.”
Noah nodded his head at me in consideration. “I hear what you’re saying, and I’m not discounting it, because ultimately it’s your decision—but I really think we should get a professional opinion before you go announcing that you’re having a mastectomy.” He moved closer to me on the sofa and tucked me in under his arm. “Victoria, I’ll stand behind whatever decision you make; I just want you to make an educated one and not jump off the deep end before we talk with the doctors.” I knew he was right. I needed to understand what I was dealing with and was hopeful that Dr. Lauren would be able to give me some guidance on Friday morning.
The next twenty-four hours were a haze for both of us as we tried to ignore the elephant that was following us around Chicago. We spent time together, but also some time apart to clear our minds.
I called my parents and Jen to let them know I’d received the results. It’s not the way I wanted to tell them, but they needed to know. Jen offered to call our few close friends so that I wouldn’t have to repeat the story over again. I had never been more grateful for having her in my life.
Noah and I walked hand-in-hand around the Navy Pier, watching the people around us smiling and laughing. I looked out at the cracked and broken lighthouse that stood atop a rocky wall just out from the pier. It was run-down but still did its job as a beacon for ships seeking land.