Beneath, You're Beautiful Read online

  After dinner we moved into the family room where a few pillar candles flickered on the coffee table. I snuggled into the pillows in the corner of the sectional sofa. He sat opposite of me with his body turned toward me and his arm resting on the back of the sofa just inches away from my shoulder. It sent a tingle down my spine, and I felt a light flush of color reach my cheeks.

  “Thank you for dinner—it was delicious. You’re very talented in the kitchen. I was halfway expecting pasta with sauce out of the jar. I guess that’s what I expect most men know how to cook.”

  “It was my pleasure. Cooking is relaxing for me, and I enjoy doing it.”

  “You’re a doctor, you love to cook, you keep an immaculate house that you designed yourself, and yet you seem like the average guy next door. Do you have any other hidden talents?” The words left my mouth, and I instantly regretted them. I didn’t want to give him the wrong impression. I looked up and could see a little wicked gleam in his eyes, and he stifled a smirk. The faint flush of color was now flooding my face, and I was mortified.

  “Well, come to think of it, there’s this thing that I do with my—”

  “La la la la la . . . I can’t hear you . . . la la la la,” I sang as I covered my ears and closed my eyes tight. What did I expect? I opened the door to that one, and he walked right in and made himself at home. I shifted on the sofa, feeling a little out of my league, and I could feel his eyes on me.

  When I dared to crack an eye open, he was looking at me with amusement. “It’s okay. I was just having some fun—I so enjoyed watching you blush and get embarrassed. It’s sweet and a bit sexy.”

  Did he just called me sexy? Me. Sexy? “Are you sure you aren’t mistaking me for someone else?”

  “No, I’m quite positive the woman in front of me fits that description. She just isn’t used to accepting compliments. I’m not worried, though. I’m persistent and one day that will change.” He stood up from the sofa. “I’ll be right back. Don’t move.”

  I wasn’t about to, and I watched his denim-clad ass saunter toward the kitchen. This couldn’t be real, I thought to myself as I heard plates clatter on the counter. “Everything okay in there?” I asked.

  “Everything’s under control. Can I bring you anything more to drink?”

  “Sure, I’ll take a glass of the coconut sparkling water I saw earlier,” I called back.

  A few minutes later, he walked back in with a tray and set it down behind the candle arrangement so I couldn’t really see what he had. He handed me a crystal flute and explained, “The coconut water is sparkling, so I figured I could serve it in a flute.”

  He sat next to me with a flute of his own and raised it toward me. “To your last first kiss.” He clinked my glass as I sat there with my mouth slightly parted, not processing everything that was going on around me. He tipped my glass to my lips as he tipped his back. I took a sip, and he took the glass from me. He leaned forward. “I hope I’m not being too presumptuous . . .”

  I swooped in to quiet him with my lips, shocking myself in the process. He moved his hand to cup my cheek and kissed me back. His lips were soft and full. He deepened the kiss and his tongue lightly grazed my bottom lip and parted my lips further. When our tongues met, it was tentative at first, but it didn’t take long for the fire to ignite.

  He pulled me closer, and I shifted my legs to rest over his lap as he placed his hand firmly on my lower back. My hands found his hair, the hair I had been dying to sink my fingers into since the first day I met him. I could now confirm that he did in fact have the kind of hair a girl would want to grab on to and not let go, and I wasn’t about to anytime soon. We definitely had first base mastered, but I wasn’t ready for second base. I started to turn a bit, and Blake noticed my discomfort. He placed one last gentle kiss on my lips before pulling away to make eye contact. “Is everything okay? Did I push too far?” he asked, looking a bit hesitant.

  “No, you didn’t do anything wrong. I just feel awkward. It’s kind of weird trying to round the bases, when second base is . . . nonexistent.”

  He moved slightly, and I took notice when he tried and failed to discreetly adjust himself; my eyes were drawn toward the very prominent issue in his jeans. He cleared his throat, and I looked up into eyes that were actually dancing with humor. “As you can see, I’m the one who should be feeling awkward—not you.”

  I couldn’t help the giggle that escaped my mouth. “I don’t know how you do it, but you have this ability to make me feel at ease when a moment ago I felt completely unsure of myself.”

  “What are you unsure about?”

  “I’m unsure about so much right now, it makes me dizzy. It’s a good kind of dizzy, but I still wonder if this is a drug-induced hallucination.” He reached over and pinched the inside of my arm—you know, that part just on the inside of your upper arm that makes your eyes water. “Ouch! What the hell was that for?”

  “Last week you told me to pinch you, but I didn’t. I assumed the offer was still open. I want you to open your eyes to the fact that sitting here with me is very real.” He reached for my arm and placed a kiss where he had pinched me. He reached over to the plate that was hidden behind the candles and revealed the most beautiful assortment of mini fresh fruit tarts I had ever seen. They were decorated with berries, kiwi, mangos, and tiny edible flowers. “These are my favorite, and I hoped you would enjoy them too.”

  I licked my lips as I selected one that was covered with raspberries and kiwi. “They’re almost too beautiful to eat.”

  “Just wait until you taste one.” He tempted me as he held a strawberry and mango one up to his lips. I was mesmerized as he placed the tart in his mouth and bit down slowly. The look of unadulterated pleasure was evident on his face and . . . Oh. My. God. I felt a little pulse between my legs that I hadn’t felt in quite some time. His eyes locked on mine, and he smirked. “Your turn.”

  No pressure at all. Channeling Bobbie Jo, I lifted the tart to my mouth and felt his eyes watching my every move. Licking my lips, I took a bite and custard oozed out on to the corner of my mouth. Clearly I failed at the seduction thing. I quickly lifted a finger to try and catch it, but his finger found the custard first. He wiped it up and placed his finger on my bottom lip. Opening my mouth, I licked the custard off of his finger then closed my lips around it, giving it a light suck and twirl of my tongue around the tip before releasing it. Holy shit. What has gotten into me?

  Blake let out a deep groan.

  “You asked for it.” I laughed before popping the rest of the mini tart into my mouth, looking like a pig. I had to sway the mood away from anything sexual. I wasn’t ready, even though he had awakened parts of me that had been in a deep sleep.

  “I’ve met my match, haven’t I?” He shook his head and grabbed another tart off the plate. “You’re so unexpected. I never imagined this side of you, and I should warn you, I’m thoroughly captivated now.”

  “You’re unexpected in many ways as well. Just when I thought my world was falling apart, you show up and understand me. You see me instead of the cancer. You’re respectful of what is going on in all aspects of my life, and you haven’t pushed me for anything other than spending time with me.” I paused because I wasn’t sure how to communicate exactly what I wanted to say. “My life is in a constant state of chaos right now, but when I’m with you, the chaos disappears somehow. I barely know you, yet you’re the calm amidst my storm.”

  “I know you more than you think I do. Your life is complicated right now, and I don’t want to add to it, but I can’t disregard the feelings I have for you. You have me completely captivated, and I can’t explain it. I sound like a goddamn sap, but at least I’m an honest sap.” He pulled my hands into his. “I know I have said it before, and I’ll say it again—I want to spend time with you and get to know you. However, I don’t want to pressure you or rush into something you’re not comfortable with. You call the shots.”

  “I don’t know what to say right now,” I adm
itted. This was all so new and so not normal. But then again, nothing was normal anymore, so maybe this was the new normal?

  “You don’t have to say anything. We are two adults getting to know each other. I didn’t mean for what was supposed to be an innocent kiss to lead to more. I’m sorry for that . . .”

  “Don’t be,” I cut him off. “I started it by kissing you, and I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t want to. We need to slow things down and get to know one another, but I’m not going to deny myself if I feel something. I’m in unchartered territory, and all I ask is for patience and understanding.”

  “You have it.”

  “That was easy. I didn’t have to argue my case as to why I need patience and understanding?”

  “I’m a physician, not an attorney. The only thing you have to worry about is that eventually I might want to play doctor with you,” he hinted with a playful wiggle of his eyebrows. “But for now, you’re safe and I’ll be good. And the good doctor sees that it’s getting late, and you should probably head home to get some rest for tomorrow’s chemo session.”

  I looked over at the clock and noticed it was close to ten o’clock. “Yikes. I had no idea it was that late.” I stood and reached for the tray to carry it into the kitchen. But Blake intercepted my hand. “Leave it, I’ll take care of it.”

  He retrieved my coat from the front hall closet and helped me put it on. I turned back toward him when it was on. “Thank you for a lovely evening. Your home is beautiful, dinner was fantastic, and the company was perfect.”

  “It was a wonderful evening—thanks for spending it with me. I’ll be thinking about you tomorrow. Please let me know how treatment goes and call if you need anything.”

  “Will do.” I shifted slightly. This was one of those uncomfortable moments when you anticipate a kiss but aren’t sure if it’s going to happen. Should I initiate it or wait? What are the rules?

  “There are no rules.” He leaned down, brushing his lips softly against mine before consuming me with a warm kiss. He pulled me closer, and I melted into the comfort of his arms. I opened my lips and when his tongue met mine, I was thankful for his strong hold on me as my knees went weak. He ended the kiss and placed one last peck on the tip of my nose. “You really need to work on not thinking out loud. It might get you into trouble someday.”

  “If that kiss was trouble, I’ll gladly welcome it from you any day.” I leaned up to give him a kiss on his cheek before grabbing my purse. “Thank you. This was definitely a night I’ll remember.”

  Chapter Three

  I AM WORTHY

  Jen arrived home early Friday morning wanting to go with me to chemo, but after a mostly sleepless night, I knew I needed a nap. My evening with Blake played over and over in my head . . . All. Damn. Night. I couldn’t think of a better time to close my eyes than the few hours it would take for the chemo to course through my veins. Jen objected at first, but when I explained I was tired and wouldn’t be good company, she understood. She had some errands to run after being gone and insisted on driving me, for which I was grateful.

  A soft tap at the door of my treatment room stirred me out of a light sleep, and I opened my eyes to find Blake leaning against the doorframe in his blue surgical scrubs. Holy Dr. McHottie was right. His hair was a sexy mess as he ran his hand through it and a smile broke out on his face that made me warm all over . . . and it wasn’t the kind of warm I got from the chemo meds. The man was giving me a serious complex.

  He pushed off from where he was standing and strode toward me. “Good afternoon, Sunshine. I’m sorry to wake you.” He smiled as he sat on the edge of the bed facing me. “I just finished my last surgery of the day and wandered up to see if you were still here. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “Not at all. I was just catching up on some sleep.” I shifted to sit up a bit more.

  He reached around to help prop up my pillows and with a concerned voice asked, “You didn’t sleep well last night?”

  “No. Some guy took up residence my mind, and I couldn’t shake him. He kept me up all night.”

  “Kept you up all night you say? Lucky guy.” He smiled and rested his hand on my leg. “How are you doing today other than being sleepy?”

  “Pretty good.” I looked up at the clock. “I’ve got about thirty minutes left and then I’m done. Thankfully, I only have one more to go after this. I can hardly believe it’s been over three months since I started chemo. So much has happened. It’s surreal.”

  “I’m sure it is. You didn’t drive yourself today, did you?”

  “No, Jen dropped me off. I told her I was going to nap, so she went to run a few errands and should be back shortly.”

  “She seems like a good friend. Do you mind if I hang around for a bit to meet her?”

  “I forgot you hadn’t met her yet. She brought me to my last appointment with you, but I wouldn’t let her come back with me. She pissed me off, and I needed a break from her bossiness.”

  “Sounds like the perfect friendship.”

  I laughed. “We are best friends, but more like siblings at times. She doesn’t take my shit, and I don’t take hers. In fact, she’s my roommate until I’m finished with chemo and surgery. After Noah moved out, she didn’t want me to be alone in case something happened, and as much of a pain in the ass as she can be, she’s my pain in the ass and I love her.”

  “You’re a bigger pain in the ass,” Jen declared as she walked into the room and set a bag down on a chair before turning toward the bed. “Hi, I’m Jen. You must be Dr. Forrester?”

  Blake stood up immediately and offered his hand to properly introduce himself. “Yes, but please call me Blake. It’s nice to finally meet you—I’ve heard many good things about you.”

  She took his extended hand. “Well that’s reassuring. ‘Pain in the ass’ seems to be my term of endearment lately.” Releasing his hand, she turned toward me. “How’s the patient doing?”

  “I’m doing just fine. What’s in the bag?”

  “Bobbie Jo gave it to me, so I’m not really sure. Why don’t you open it?” she set it on my lap with a little smirk on her face and a wiggle of her eyebrows.

  Opening a Bobbie Jo care package was like playing Russian roulette . . . it could be naughty or nice, and I certainly didn’t want to find out with Blake in the room. “No. I’ll wait until we get home.”

  Blake looked at me inquisitively. “You don’t want to open it? You’re the first woman I’ve ever met that didn’t jump at opening a present immediately.”

  “Normally I would.” I smiled. “However, when it’s from Bobbie Jo, you never know what you’re going to get.” I jokingly coughed. “It would be safer for all of us if I opened it in private later.”

  “Got it.” He winked as he stepped toward my bedside again. “Well, since Jen is here, and you’re almost done, I’m going to go finish up my charts before heading home. Please let me know if you need anything. I’m just a phone call away.”

  “Don’t worry, we’ll call for backup if needed,” Jen answered with a grin as Blake bent down to give me a kiss on the forehead. He smiled back at her before exiting the room just as the nurse came in to release me from my poison prison.

  “Damn. Bobbie Jo wasn’t kidding. You’re a lucky bitch!” Jen sighed, sounding all dreamy. What the hell happened to my hard-ass friend?

  The nurse giggled and looked up at me. “Are you dating Dr. Forrester?”

  “No!” I snapped at the same time Jen announced, “Yes, she is!”

  “Well, whatever you’ve got going on, I agree with your friend. He’s one of the few single doctors around here, and he has several admirers. To say we were all a bit surprised when he showed up and asked for you is an understatement. He’s rarely on our floor.” She slapped a strip of medical tape over the gauze covering the spot where she removed my IV. “You’re all set.”

  Bounding off the bed, I gathered my things, including the mystery bag from Bobbie Jo. I couldn’t get out of there fast enoug
h. The looks I got from the nurses at the station when I passed by had me ready to run for the hills. Some smiled and others glared. I’m sure they were thinking, “Why the hell would Dr. Forrester stop to see her?” I tried not to let it bother me, but it did.

  *

  The day after chemo was a fog as per usual, but not so bad as before. When I finally made my way downstairs around noon on Sunday, I was greeted by a large pink-and-white bouquet made up of tulips, roses, calla lilies, and Gerbera daisies. It contained all of my favorite flowers and was one of the most beautiful arrangements I had ever seen. I couldn’t hide the sweet smile as I reached for the envelope that was tucked in.

  Hope you’re feeling better and that lucky guy stopped running through your mind enough to get some sleep. Let me know if he didn’t and I’ll beat him up.

  Blake

  Jen walked in just as my smile turned into a full-on beam. “He’s a great guy, Victoria. He called to check in on you a few times this morning. These arrived a little while ago.” She pulled out a chair for me to sit at the table.

  “Wow.” Just wow, I thought as I sat down to admire the flowers a bit longer.

  “You can say that again. What can I get you for breakfast this morning?”

  “Toast and a small cup of coffee would be good. Oh, and some frozen banana slices if we have any,” I added as the fragrance of the bouquet invaded my senses. I leaned forward and buried my nose in one of the roses. “I never really understood the saying, ‘take time to stop and smell the roses’ until right now. We overlook the simple things in life so easily and don’t take time to appreciate them. These flowers are exquisite.”

  “An exquisite bouquet for an exquisite woman,” Jen declared as she set down a cup of coffee and a small dish of frozen banana slices. I popped one in my mouth and sighed. “You really like those don’t you?” Jen asked just as my toast popped up.